That old falling-between-the-cracks feeling

Let's get this out of the way first: I have tremendous respect for the Eides and their work.

Now then: When I read the article about ADHD and motivation, I laughed, bitterly. I have always been opposed to the idea of paying children for getting good grades. Now, I sit here and watch my son stalling, whining, and generally refusing to do his incomplete work. Did I offer incentives to get him to complete his work? Oh yes, I did. Current incentives include: a trip to the movie theater to see "Up;" purchase of awesome new binoculars for birding (I offered to split the cost with him 50-50); a stack of biology textbooks that O has been dying to get his hands on. Total cost?? Well, getting him to finish this work and move on would indeed be priceless.

So, I think we all can agree that these are significant incentives. This must mean the work was completed quickly and efficiently, and O is knee-deep in bio books and blissfully happy, right?

Wrong.

Math was completed over one weekend, wherein my husband dragged O, kicking and screaming, through half of a math textbook. The book report took two more weekends and multiple evenings during the week. The economics project, which was due two weeks ago, is proceeding on a similar trajectory. O sat at my computer for eight hours yesterday, and wrote one sentence. I deleted all games from the computer, password-protected my files, and advised the young man that I am able to track his internet wanderings. He insisted that he is motivated, he wants to be done with his work, he cannot wait to read that ornithology textbook, he is absolutely terrified that "Up" will no longer be showing when his work is done. He wrote one sentence.

So, here we are.

We met with O's new therapist this week. I mentioned the Eide's piece on ADHD and motivation. J said well, unfortunately, as is so often the case, the results are less clear-cut when dealing with individuals who have more than just ADHD. It can be complicated to tease out the underlying reasons for certain behaviors. Are they rooted in ADHD, or are they rooted in other disorders?

If I had a dollar for each time I have been told that, unfortunately, the situation is far more complicated when there are multiple co-morbid disorders, I would have enough money to hire someone else to sit beside O and make him finish his work. Until that happens, I guess I will pass the time by reading Gill's Ornithology. It's not like O will be reading it any time soon....